Congrats for Joseph!

Hooray to my friend, Joseph Santos-Lyons (aka Radical Hapa), on passing his MFC today!!!

Even Positive Change Can Be Overwhelming

Well. Yesterday was my last day at the office I've worked at for over ten years.

The good news about this is that I can devote myself full time to
a) making video and producing
b) writing and getting published
c) helping folks get healthy and lose weight

And it also means that work won't conflict with the San Diego DRUUMM YaYA Summit at the end of this month, or General Assembly, or the US Social Forum. My time is my own.

At times like these, I feel awkward because I'm an agnostic and have no one to thank for all my blessings. My heart is filled with gratitude, nonetheless.

Women in Sparta

Late Friday night, the DH and I tagged along with my brother and his wife to see 300. The DH was excited because he loved Sin City, and is fascinated by the warrior codes and battle formations of ancient societies. I strongly disliked Sin City (though I do understand its appeal to so many men), but I share his interest in ancient cultures and mythology.

So anyway, we talked for a long while about it the next day. He and I both had some prior knowledge of the Spartan way of life, but spent some time reading up on the Battle of Thermopylae in particular. Truth truly is stranger than fiction. I was quite impressed at how basically every over-the-top aspect of Spartan life depicted in the movie was strongly rooted in historical record (I cannot say the same for the depiction of Xerxes; I don't know anything about him being pierced everywhere and made up like a drag queen).

What most intrigued me in my readings, however, was the way in which Spartan women were virtually equals in their societies. I found it very curious that Sparta - as militaristic and pragmatic as it was - was the only place in Greece where women had a great deal of personal freedom and power. The women of those Greek states that were rich in philosophy and the arts were really viewed as inferior. So why was Sparta different? Was it precisely their pragmatism that caused them to have such progressive views about women? Not to say that they were well informed about all things - they practiced infanticide, too.

Any thoughts or information about this? I'll have to look more into this later - I'll put that on my list of "Someday" activities.

Surreal Television

Daytime television is just weird. A lousy "thriller" called American Crime - although it stars the stunning Annabella Sciorra - has some of the worst pacing and one of the most unsatisfying movie endings I've ever seen. Maury Povich (still) has on mothers who want to subject their 13 and 15 year old daughters to lie detector tests to "prove" they've had multiple sex partners. And the DA boss dude from Law & Order might be running for president?

I'm not sure what I think about all of that.

Why the Internet is a better place:

• I learned that Maggie Gyllenhaal will be replacing Katie Holmes in the new Batman movie. Whoo hoo!
  
• I received an email informing me of two discussions being held in my area about the film, The Mystery of Love. Unfortunately, I can't make either of the two discussion meetings (damn, damn, damn!), but at least now I know about Mystery of Love, and The Fetzer Institute for Love Forgiveness. These are both interesting - take a look!
  

Also, I'm reading a really good book called The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women which, interestingly enough, references Robert Fritz, whose book, The Path of Least Resistance, transformed a lot of my thinking. I'll probably write more about 12 Secrets later.

Yes, We Have No Bananas

The first shock was seeing the General Assembly photos that Rev. Clyde posted on his blog last summer. My immediate reaction was, literally, OH MY GOD! I had no idea I looked like that! A few months later my mother sent me photographs from my 30th birthday party in September. By this time, I'd reached new territory because there was absolutely no way for me to camouflage my chubbiness anymore. Even a sun-dress told all.

When I was down to about five outfits that I felt even remotely comfortable in, feeling sick all the time from symptoms of IBS, and frequently waking up with mysterious back pain, I decided to do something. The grandmother whose body type I inherited spent most of her adult life coping with an extra 100 pounds, and she ruined her health in desperate attempts to lose them. Genetics were definitely not on my side in this regard, so it was really just a matter of me deciding how many trips to the doctor it was going to take before I took some action.

Two months ago, the DH was joking about how much we US Americans desire instant gratification. In the midst of listening to him it dawned on me that I'd been harboring the unconscious belief that if I liked a particular food and it was available to me, I needed to eat it. Not only that, but I had the right to eat it, and it was wrong and unfair that there could be negative consequences (such as gaining weight or feeling sick).

But now ... I finally understood what millions of other people (like my "naturally" thin brothers and mother) already knew: It's okay to love the foods I do (breads and pastas), and not eat them every day. Imagine that! My whole "relationship" with food changed. Basically, I stopped seeing myself as having a relationship with food. Relationships occur between people, and perhaps other animals. That slice of sweet bread over there is neither my friend nor my enemy; it's just flour and water. It's indifferent to me, so why get so riled up about it? When I think of the range of emotions I'd feel about eating - anxiety, excitement, guilt, self-indulgence, regret ... what a soap opera!

A while back there was talk of a campaign to lose weight by General Assembly 2007. I don't know how that is going, but after seeing Clyde's pics from last year, I knew I didn't want a repeat of OH MY GOD! Now I just have to get over the inevitable photo of me with black pepper stuck in my teeth, or my eyes in mid-blink.




September 2006 March 2007

Nice Stereotypes

I still can't respond to Blogger postings .... ChaliceChick asks, Is it Racist that I think Jews are Cool? I thought that was an interesting question, because I used to think Jews were cool, too. I don't know where that came from; maybe because as a group they've been persecuted and oppressed quite a bit and therefore I could relate to them as a descendant of American slaves; or because they've produced an astonishing number of musical maestros, movie producers, comedians and social thinkers. I have no idea what the actual statistics are - and am doubtful there are any - but it seemed like per capita, they were contributing quite a bit to the world.

But at some point, my thinking on Jews being especially cool just sort of evaporated. Again, I don't know why. Maybe it was Jerry Seinfeld, or the Hasidim in Crown Heights, or the State of Israel or just a shift to realizing the contributions of my own "peoples." So this question isn't really an issue for me any more.

Is it racist to attribute positive qualities to a people? I don't know ... how important a question that is. I think what matters most is how one's expectations color the way one relates to another person. For example, many years ago the DH's grandmother said to his other grandmother, "I thought you people were supposed to be smart!"

Hey, that doesn't sound so bad. Asians = Smart - where's the harm in that? Except that she followed it up by asking, "Well if you're so smart, why are you so poor?!"

The bottom line is that while some people revel in what they perceive as positive stereotypes - and even claim them -they are ultimately objectifying. I bristle every time someone comments that I must be able to dance well or be really "spicy" because of my ethnicity. What does that even mean? Anyone expecting me to be a great dancer or super sexy and hot tempered obviously has no clue of who I am.

But worst of all, it often leads to me wondering, "If this person thinks I have this quality - what else do they think about me - that's not so nice?" Unfortunately, those are the types of thoughts that can make it hard to build trusting relationships.

What is Conservative?

I am curious about something in Joel Monka's recent post, A Conservative in a Liberal Faith. In one paragraph he describes conservatism (note: PP stands for Principles & Purposes):

None of the general principles of a classic (not a religious right) conservative, things like fiscal responsibility, personal responsibility and personal action, that rights reside within the citizen and are only loaned to the government, not vice-versa, least government possible, and even that as local as possible, etc., are in conflict with the PPs- with one possible exception: Conservatives recognize that government is rarely the right vehicle to address the basic issues, that either the marketplace or other citizen organizations (like churches) are far more effective in issues where hearts and minds must be changed. This is in direct opposition to the current mindset of the majority of the UUA, who seem to believe that social justice comes only from the pages of a sternly-worded fax to a congressman.

The thing is, I can agree with all of those statements, and yet I'm not a conservative. And I don't think I'm deluding myself; I can't think of any other person who would call me conservative, either.

Surely, there's got to be something more to being a conservative than is mentioned here? Is it a difference of values - or one of methods? I have a hard time even calling myself "a liberal." While I'm "liberal" at times, I have a hard time accepting that label when it's used to describe someone like John Kerry. We're not even in the same book, never mind on the same page. (For Bush, I'd have to say we're in two completely different libraries.)

Isn't the nature of conservatism defined as resistance to change? I associate it with the supporting of the status quo. Is this inaccurate?

Some time ago the DH and I were having a conversation about power in our society. The DH posited that there are three major powers in the US: government; private industry; and the people. I'm interested in ways that the power of the people can be expressed and fulfilled. I feel as though conservatives are interested in bolstering the power of industry, and liberals want to increase the power of the government. (Noam Chomsky points out that it's in the best interest of industry that the people distrust their government, because the government is the only force powerful enough to restrict industry).

So I'm left with the question of ... who is interested in increasing the power of the people? At every turn I see private corporations encroaching on the rights and freedoms of people - whether it's Clear Channel suing cities for allowing public murals (citing them as "unfair competition" with billboard ads), or the very current issue of Net Neutrality. And government is dominated by a fairly homogenous group of people who are constantly being pressured by private interests (and in some cases, being run by high profile representatives of private interests).

Any advice on the subject would be much appreciated.

Can't Comment, So Here are Comments

For some reason - I don't have time to investigate this right now - I'm unable to comment on the blogs of other Bloggers because the anti spam verification code isn't visible to me; I can't even get the audio to work.

So here are a few comments I intended to post, but haven't been able to ...

Oh, but first -- thanks to all the kind words re my engagement. I hadn't thought about a GA wedding at all, but that would have been clever with enough notice! The wedding will be in summer of 2008, however. I want my youngest brother to be present and he won't be available until then.

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Lizard Eater responds to Peacebang's post, Theological Reflection on Fat, Skinny, and Image - and asks, "how do we get folks out of their ruts, and persuade them to not save nice attire for weddings and funerals? Encourage them to dress up for parties and -- dare I propose it? -- church?"

My comment: The best way to encourage folks to dress up is to dress up, too. When the DH had a meeting in Seattle with representatives of a well known, European company, I insisted he wear a suit and tie. He obliged willingly. When he returned I asked him if he'd worn the suit; he said that he had - and was grossly overdressed. Even the reps from the corporation were in polo shirts and tees. He was teased a little, and came off looking kind of stuffy and/or a little clueless. In this case, wearing a suit didn't impress anyone, and he drew unwanted attention to himself. Had there been several other guys there in suits, his clothing choice probably would have been a non-event.

Most people dress according to what is considered acceptable and normal in whatever circles they travel in. When people plan their outfits for parties or what-have-you, they usually ask themselves, "What is everyone else going to be wearing?" Most aren't going for the fanciest outfit award. But ... if they can trust that so-and-so will be looking great in a suit and tie, or a sequined dress, they might be willing to take a few chances.

I dress however I please, wherever I am, regardless of the weather or situation. But I get a LOT of feedback about it, and one has to be willing to accept that if you're going to depart from the norm.

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Will Shetterly writes about a pathetic practice of Best Buy in his post capitalism promotes innovation.

My comment: Best Buy sucks!

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Stentor Danielson offers his thoughts on How Whites Shaped Black-Indian Relations; one result being the Cherokee vote to determine whether black descendants of the "freedmen" (slaves owned by Cherokee) will continue to be considered members of the Cherokee nation.

My comment: Thank you, thank you, thank you. I sent your post to a lot of folks who asked me what I thought of this issue!