The DH tells me a story about his mother, and the Christian proselytizers who knock on her door from time to time, inviting her to Jesus. First, they testify about how they were once homeless, desperate, drug-addicted, abusive and unhappy people - but after they found Jesus they were healed. He said his mother's response - before shutting the door in their face - was, "Well, that's great for you, but I don't have any of those problems."
This morning I read "The Radical Christian Right is Built on Suburban Despair" by Chris Hedges - at the suggestion of the Lively Tradition - and it made me think about how many people have religion because they feel weak and lost without it. If I were not a UU, I wouldn't feel weak or lost. When I was Muslim, I thought I needed Islam to be a good person - to keep me on the path of doing good and being a good person. But since leaving the religion, I haven't been strangling small animals or setting people on fire. I play poker once in a while, average about two alcoholic drinks per month, and have had exactly one boyfriend, who I am still with. So much for the big "fall."
One afternoon a few months ago, I returned to the office from my lunch break feeling really upset. I'd just heard a report on National Public Radio about Lydia Cacho, a Mexican journalist, who was living under threats of death and facing a prison sentence because she'd written a book about child sex slavery, and the wealthy businessmen who supported it. I sat down at my desk and lamented to my coworker, a friendly Christian of the Southern Baptist persuasion. "Who - who are the people buying these children? And who are the people selling them? And how can so many people do such evil things?! What is wrong with the world?!"
I don't usually get worked up about things in public, but in those moments, I felt outraged, devastated, and powerless. My coworker - an active church leader who had attended biblical college 30 years ago - made an apologetic face, raised his hands and said, "Well, I don't know what the Koran says about this, but I can tell you what the Bible says." I blinked at him, and said "Okay."
"... And the Bible says that what holds Man back from committing these kinds of evils is the Holy Spirit. Without the Holy Spirit, this is what Man does."
I blinked again a number of times. I heard myself saying, "Well, I guess ..." as I turned back to my computer. But in the next moment I was thinking, "What the hell?! I don't have the Holy Spirit, and I'm not involved in child sex slavery or pornography - nor will I ever be!"
The DH had informed me a few weeks before that the reason why the religious right are so adamant against gays "advertising" themselves is because they truly believe that they, too, have the capacity to be gay; and it's only God keeping them from descending into heathen barbarianism. I was a little dubious, and thought he was just being anti-Christianity again, but here was the exact same sentiment, coming from a devout Christian!
I tend to have a tolerant attitude towards religious followers because 1) I was one once so I understand what it's like 2) most of my family is religious 3) I'm part of a religious community now (note: not a "follower"), 4) many religious people have been inspired by their faith to create wonderful things, 5) I believe in a spiritual element in life, and religion is one tool people use to explore that.
But ... wow - what a terrible disappointment to hear my co-worker say this. Not only is it a claim easily disproved by the examples of billions of non-saved people who do NOT engage in such despicable acts, but it's frightening that people believe we're all just a few steps away from being monsters.
It's obvious to me that we're each capable of committing evil or good (however you choose to define these terms), but the Holy Spirit is not what guides us. Rather, it is our own conscience and will. I'm deeply disturbed by this preoccupation with believing and publicly declaring oneself to be a "sinner." If you see the God-Up-There as Perfection, then you're setting yourself up to feel inferior. Where is the good in that? Here on earth, no one is perfect. Do we need to believe in a God-Up-There to acknowledge our flaws and errors? To be humble? To have perspective about our place in the world? I say no.
Some people, however, have convinced themselves that, without the saving grace of the God-Up-There, they would be hopeless, lost to the world, and the lowest of the low. I know that feeling because I clasped tight to it for many years. I remember that sense of being filled with the breath of God (Allah), of scrambling to avoid being swallowed up in the chaos of the world, and of teetering on the line dividing Paradise from Hellfire. I remember this, and I think, "But I felt this way even when I was ten years old!" It was just an illusion.
(photo by friend of HSA; Together, they will rotate on the spits of Hellfire. 2006)
12 comments:
This issue is one of the big three that caused me to leave the church of my childhood. This vision of the human being as monster unless redeemed from without is why a good Christian literally cannot understand how one can be moral without the threat of Hell. This is why they genuinely fear Pagans- and to an evangelical, a UU is just as Pagan as a Wiccan- someone without fear of Hell is capable of ANYTHING.
It does no good, by the way, to explain that you have internalized your sense of right and wrong, and no longer need it imposed from without... don't try to tell them that you cannot do such a thing not from fear of punishment but because that's not who you are- because of their worldview, they honestly, genuinely are incapable of understanding.
When Muslims committ an atrocity or behave in an atrocious way, most liberal-minded commentators are very quick to point out they are not representative of the entire faith and are a minority (a legitimate point, might I add). In general, these commentators are far more thoughtful in their discussion and far more aware of not making broad, sweeping statements about "the Muslims" or what "a good Muslim" would / should do.
YET, when you have some Christians behaving in an an atrocious way towards other people, I've noticed some of these same commentators make no distinction between them and the rest of the community.
Joel Monka's comments about what "a good Christian" can and cannot understand - and his constant use of "they" and "them" is an example of this.
And Hafidha Sofia, I wonder what prevented you from engaging in some friendly dialogue with your colleague? Why were you so apparently quick to dismiss him?
Also, look how casually you remark about your "anti-Christian" loved on. There is seemingly no challenge of his intolerance there, just passive acceptance! (maybe even agreement?)
What if your loved one was being openly anti-Muslim, or if someone casually remarked how their loved one "was just being anti-Muslim again"? Or worst still, if someone remarked that their loved one was was "just being anti-Black Latina again" in a discussion about an issue related to that community? Would you be so seemingly casual about it?!
I'm sorry, but this all just stinks of hypocrisy. Let's hope surfers don't take you as representative of Unitarian-Universalism.
Anonymous -
What prevented me from engaging in friendly dialog with my colleague was my own shock and dismay. I simply didn't know what to say. Did I dismiss what he said? Well of course I did. He knows that I'm not a Christian, and yet he told me - in all sincerity - that the only thing preventing people from kidnapping and raping children is a Christian faith.
I did not take offense to what he said, and I didn't dismiss it in the sense of ignoring him. I thought about it for quite some time. This happened months ago.
As for the DH's anti Christian bias, this actually extends to religion in general. I definitely erred in using "anti Christian" instead of "anti-Christianity." (I will modify this in my post because it was a misrepresentation of him to say he is against Christians).
Although it may not be evident in this post, he and I have spirited discussions about religion at least several times a week. He is a person who sees religion as unnecessary and more harmful than helpful. I am a person who sees religion as unnecessary to living a righteous live, but as an aspect of life that we people can utilize for the purpose of beautifying our world, and human life.
I actually have been in conversations with people who have anti-Muslim sentiments, and what I disagree with is not when a person disbelieves in the religion of Islam, but when they engage in the ridiculous "Islam as a religion of war vs. Christianity as the religion of peace" argument - and/or when they suggest that all Muslims are terrorists just waiting to explode (no pun intended).
I have engaged in conversations with people who have told me about racist relatives. If the person who is talking to me about them is engaged in dialog with their relatives about their prejudices, what should my reaction be? Should I stop talking to the person because they have relatives with prejudices? Do you have any prejudices? Do you have any relatives with prejudices? Do you cut off all relations with them because of this?
I have a grandmother who thinks Muslims are ridiculous and violent. I have several friends who have made seriously messed up statements about hispanic people and black men to me. I can still engage with them, and in fact, have strengthened relations with them. The DH has Christian friends who have told him he isn't saved, or (as Joel alludes to) expressed surprise that he was such a "moral" person when he is an atheist. He is still friends with them. They think atheists are going to hell, and he thinks Christians are lying to themselves. Does this mean they can't play video games together, or otherwise enjoy each others' company?
One thing I don't want to spend my life doing is lashing out at people for the things they are honest enough to say. That doesn't mean I'm not going to criticize beliefs that I feel are dangerous and harmful.
Although I may sometimes fail in this, I don't want to attack Christians or Catholics, but I will sometimes ask them to explain some things to me. Just as I was often asked to explain things about Islam. Although it was trying at the time (and not usually done with good intentions), I benefited greatly from being asked to explain what I believed. Once I finally got out of the mode of defending Islam just for the sake of it, I found myself thinking, "Wait a minute - what does this mean?"
I am a fervent believer in growth through conversation. But it only works when we can be honest with ourselves - even if it's just for the briefest moment.
Anyway, if you have additional questions of me, I hope you'll feel free to ask. I much prefer responding to questions over pontificating.
I find this post and your response to "anonymous" to be excellent examples of the self-examination and dialogue that Unitarian Universalists should be practicing with as much intentional forethought as you do, Hafidha. There are so many forces pushing us all to either-or dichotomies these days that it is fascinating and powerful to witness people who strive to live an examined life, full of reflection and exploration and engagement with others.
I read somewhere (it may have been Bishop John Shelby Spong) that throughout history, major civilizations are usually dominated by some kind of orthodoxy, one which is constantly giving way to new ideas and change. When behavior and attitudes start changing, the orthodoxy predicts the complete unraveling of society.
Interestingly, the one thing which *consistently* is treated as the key harbinger of doom is NOT increased murder, or war, or political chaos... apparently the canary in almost all major civilizations' apocalyptic coalmine is *sexual deviance*. And I don't mean child prosititution, I mean consensual queer sex and maybe polygamy.
Reading your post makes me think: In that world view, there may be all kind of factors that keep me from killing someone (like fear of prison, retribution, etc.) But there's only one thing (again, in that worldview) the would keep me from having consensual sex with another man: the loss of the Holy Spirit (or its equivalent in other orthodox faiths.)
So maybe this explains some of the uproar around same-sex marriage; uproar made by people completely unaffected by it, directly. They may see it as the death knell for nothing less than "society as we know it".
An ironic footnote: The other thing that the writer (Spong?) observed was: The only societies that *actually* fell to a complete violent collapse or revolution were the ones whose 'old guard' kept power and were inflexible. The societies in which the elders yielded and let new wisdom take the stage are the ones that survived.
Where did your colleague say that the only thing stopping people kidnapping and raping children was a Christian faith?
He was talking about the Holy Spirit - which is very much open to individual interpretation.
I am also pretty sure there are Christians who would argue the Holy Spirit is experienced, with different names, in other faiths (i.e as God's presence, as enlightenment etc)
It seems to me you didn't even give him chance to explain his view before fixing you and your husband's prejudices onto him.
And why tie this up with the issue of religion and homosexuality? Why conflate the two issue?
The very reason homosexuality is such a heated topic within Christianity is because there is DISAGREEMENT on it. Not because all Christians think like a Borg entity and have the same view.
It would be interesting to hear some UUs come out with intelligent criticism of how Christianity AND Buddhism, Judaism, Islam approaches homosexuality.
Rather than using the issue as an easy excuse to vent their anti-Christian prejudice.
Anonymous -
I'm assuming that you're the same Anonymous who wrote yesterday?
I am unfamiliar with a "holy spirit" in Islam, but maybe you will tell me more about this. My coworker talked to me about what the Bible. Perhaps my coworker meant really "conscience" - or a concept that exists beyond Christianity - when he said Holy Spirit. When I get back to work this week, I'll email him and ask. I'll let you know his response.
I also want to point out that I spoke about how both Islam and Christianity have a "saving grace" belief that I disagree with. I didn't write just about Christianity here.
Obviously, not every Christian believes that the holy spirit is the only thing preventing people from raping and kidnapping children. You can read the blogs of Scott Wells (Boy in the Bands), Peacebang, Clyde Grubbs, Stephen (Reignite UK) for just a tiny sampling of such examples.
Again, I am disturbed by the idea that we are sinners who are hopeless without faith in Jesus (or any other God-Up-There).
UUs may be seeming to "pick on" Christians who are against homosexuality because these are the people who are most often in the public sphere talking against homosexuality. I see this as a response to the anti-gay actions of very vocal and powerful Christian groups that are sponsoring bills, family protection acts, and forming wide scale organizations to restrict the rights of GLBT folk. In the United States, at least, we aren't seeing this kind of influence and activity on the part of minority religious groups.
And of course, most UUs are familiar with Christianity more so than Islam, Judaism or Buddhism. William Stafford wrote "You can't criticize what you don't know." I criticize Islam because I was a Muslim for over 20 years. I criticize Christianity because I've read most of the Bible, know many Christians and have lived in a Christian society my entire life. I absolutely agree with you that it would be interesting (not to say informative) if UUs wrote more about what other religious doctrines and texts said about homosexuality. Maybe this is something you would be willing to do?
Also, I would like to reiterate - I am not against Christians. I am not a Christian myself, and have many problems with some of the Christian doctrines (many of which are "under attack," by the liberal Christians and secular humanists - according to more conservative Christians), but I am not "against Christians" anymore than I am "against Muslims."
I will definitely criticize ideas that are ludicrous and damaging to society - be they religious, educational, or militaristic. But if I am conveying a hateful attitude towards Christians, I want to change that, because it is not what it is in my heart. Below are all of my other postings with the words "Christian" and "Christianity" in them - if, after reviewing these (or some of them), you still feel that I am intolerant towards Christians, please let me know. Maybe I really do have a blind spot when it comes to writing about the Christian religion, in particular. Thank you very much!
Curiosity Turned into a Rant: On Christianity and UUism
The Three Days of Jesus, and the Word "God"
Life is a Beautiful Struggle
YWCA's Mission: Old or New?
Is there a UU Theology?
Violent Video Games ... for Christians?
The Radio and Spinoza
From Islam to Unitarian Universalism
Introduction via Flashback: written March 2005
Perhaps your "Holy Spirit" is your conscience.
It's all a matter of definition ...
I love the idea of being part of a religious community rather than a follower.
I just read a Terry Pratchett Book called "Small Gods" and I find it gave an interesting view of how beliefs turn into systems, thus negating the need for real faith to be involved. It seems to me that any unexamined belief, whether it be theist or atheist, would eventually degrade or calcify into a system rather than anything that touches the humanity within us.
I think when that happens, we find people dependent on it for their salvation rather than being able to create their own.
A girl like any other,
I really couldn't have said it better!
Beautiful Hafidha, I have been diligently working on developing my spiritual practice of patience for some time now. I find it to be an arduous practice. Your responses to anonymous lead me to believe that you have already mastered this practice. Thank you so much for demonstrating how to live patience so elegantly with the written word. If you ever felt like sharing some tips as to how to master this practice, I would greatly appreciate it.
Blessings
Wally, thanks for your encouragement. I don't know if I'm a patient person so much as I'm not interested in being offended by things that people say to me.
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